be more Poetic

nowadays we all talk about loving yourself. That’s good and great and all, though it’s an incomplete idea. Often we choose to overlook our flaws and problems as part of a beautiful whole. It is a betrayal of what has shaped us into who we are. The reality is that it is entirely possible to follow the popular sentiment of “loving yourself” and still acknowledge the rough parts that got you where you are. For myself, I appreciate everything that comprises who I am, but I also recognize that some of it is not so great. Some of it is down right awful and needs to be done away with.

So long as we’re going to be spend all this time being introspective we might as well consider ourselves in the future tense. There lies all our hopes, dreams, and visions. It is there that we can go beyond who we are now because future us contains all possibilities. I encourage you to try this. I encourage you to dream. You’ll find it makes you poetic about yourself. In turn that helps you be poetic about your past and present also. And just maybe you’ll discover there’s beauty in the light and the dark.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…



the “almost” hiatus

I almost quit writing. I almost sat down and typed out a post that entailed a hiatus I planned to take. Almost. My reasoning was that my writing had gone to crap. That I had failed in both quality and frequency. In recent months the decline has been noticeable and it was mirrored by a lack of reading. My plan was to leave you until after the new year. To read intensively and purposefully, only writing if I simply could not contain the thought. I don’t know what changed but the words began to flow again. I still lack the quality, but the passion for this art has returned. I realized that to not write would be a betrayal to the person who I was when I began. To not write would allow a poison to creep into my heart. The corruption that comes from the path of least resistance. So I will continue to write, I will make time for literature again, and I will not quit. And though I will never write for you, my audience, know that I appreciate you being here.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…



Ode to Kerouac

There is a highway that stretches the breadth of this nation. Along it you will find the hopes and dreams of four generations. Drive it and you will pass though both great metropolitans and one-horse towns. You will witness monuments to days long gone and the construction of days yet to come. Utilized by agriculture, industry, and the entrepreneur alike. Yet truly appreciated by a miniscule few. This highway creates issues contested by legislators. Though somehow it unites us as a people. This open highway could always take me home, instead my heart follows it ever onward.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…




a Call to Leadership

“A good leader has a compass in their head, and a magnet in their heart.”

-Howard G. Hendricks



A quality leader tends to be an enigma, but that shouldn’t have to be the case. Consider the authority figures in your life. Teachers, pastors, friends, politicians, family, employers these are the people who shape our lives. Now how many of those authority figures do you look up to for guidance? A leader evokes that from you with ease. Far too often we force ourselves to follow authority figures that we simply don’t trust. We do this because we know that they should be creating these feelings in us. We do this because we desire leadership. We are social being, and the very act of our humanity causes us to seek out a leader that can keep us safe. When our authority figures fail to lead us they are denying us a natural craving. Only chaos can come from that.

I’m quite public with my disdain for the term “millennials.” The label that simultaneously categorizes an entire generation and assigns blame for problems that should belong to us all. My argument is that the disarray of my generation, both real and perceived, spurs from a lack of leadership; from that violation of the natural order. I hate to sound like a cynic, but it is too late for the older generations to do anything. They can attempt to explain away the problems with their labels and theories, yet their time to lead has come and gone. The issues that face us will be overcome by my generation.

We “millennials” are often accused of being narcissists who demand that everything in life be handed to us. The truth is found to be a little different. Perhaps it’s not that we demand too much, rather that we fail to demand enough of what we really need. Our entire lives we have been told that we can be anything. That is an idea we hold sacred in our society, and rightly so. Though somewhere along the way a lie crept in. A lie that says because we all have infinite possibility, than we must all be equal. The result is that we did away with the notion of leaders, and consensus became the dictator of our every action. Don’t get me wrong, I know that every person is of equal value and that a consensus of the whole is a useful tool for understanding. The problem is that it fails to accomplish anything. We are a diverse people so there will always be dissent. Only a leader, with that compass in their mind, will pick out the best course of action and make it happen. What’s more is that a leader, with that magnet in their heart, is able to unite a group in order to accomplish a goal.Because of our diversity, a group could never unify itself without a leader.

We must not allow leadership to remain a mysterious quality. It belongs in the natural order as much as seeking shelter or some other basic need. Every person is of equal value, though thankfully we are not all equally the same. Within our social groups everyone of us possesses a different set of strengths and abilities. The beauty is that through a little effort each of these talents can be refined into a specific type of leadership. Every moment of our lives is a chance to lead and to follow. A good leader is an excellent follower, and vice versa. Every moment we must choose to be more, the status quo only hampers solutions. We need to become a people of character that demands the best of each other and of ourselves.

I’ll leave you with this. Our way of life requires leaders. Only a leader can put the chaos to rest. So demand that authorities be quality leaders. In return give them the trust and respect they deserve. And should they break your trust, put your abilities to work. Demand of yourself the leadership necessary. Each of us has that ability, that will, and that responsibility.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…



a consensus wouldn’t have built the car


Simply Be

We’ve all been there we get caught up in life and forget to actually live it. We turn our lives into chronological lines and mark the passing of time through tangible objectives that we have deemed important. A dramatic reminder for you is that we continue on and eventually we die. No amount of successfully completed objectives will stop that.

Occasions will arise throughout our lives that allow us to slow down and see more than just a straight line. In these moments we are given the benefit of seeing ourselves with all the depth and complexity that we contain.

One of my recent experiences with this is a weekend I spent camping. Not a rare occasion for me, but this time I was entirely surrounded by fellow Catholics. Now we weren’t doing anything religious per se, we were just enjoying each others company along with the beautiful weather. On Sunday morning there came an aha! moment for me. It was like we hit a pause button on the weekend and an altar sprang up in the middle of our camp. As we gathered around it occurred to me that we had not come together to specifically do anything Catholic, and yet there was no doubt in anybody that mass was the central point of our weekend. It was beautiful because we were being Catholic. We were fully alive in that moment.

My challenge for you is to simply be. Be present. Be you. Be whatever defines you, and allow that to encompass the moment you’re living in. That’s what allows us to see our lives for the inspiring functions they are.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…


the Man & the Moon

¶Here’s to the traveler on the long road

growing weary with the passing miles

His to ponder and smoke

His to pace and listen

the moon his guide, he ever presses forward


¶Here’s to the student deep in his books

looking towards a future yet to come

Regret and worry pursue him

Rain and doubt assail him

the moon grows faint, and his hope is the daybreak


¶Here’s to the lover lost in another’s eyes

patiently waiting the words to say

Stars and laughter his currency

Songs and whispers his language

with the moon as witness, a love always remains


¶Here’s to the tale that goes on

of the Man and the Moon

ever companions in it all

Peace, Love, and Happiness…


beautiful chaos


Last night at 11:53pm I glanced at the clock and had one of those moments that are hard to explain. Maybe it’s existentialism, or maybe it’s sleep deprivation. Regardless, at 11:53pm last night I had to stop and ask, “what in the world am I doing with myself?!” Let’s paint the picture. I’m sitting on the edge of a futon in my small, dimly-lit bedroom. Next to me is a cast aside textbook that was explaining the evolution of the correctional system from the Code Hammurabi onward. In the background some French pop artist is singing extremely fast about love an death or something. I was sitting there trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to write a blog post. my laptop was open in front of me and I had several tabs running. One was a Wikipedia article on Andrew Sullivan. Another was an op-ed on why too much democracy creates a breeding ground for tyranny. On Youtube there was a clip from the movie Dead Poet’s Society. And the finally a poem from the 17th century telling virgins what to do with their time. And I know, none of that is overtly important. my illustration is to show you the chaos of that moment. The clock read 11:55pm before I realized what had caused me pause. The beautifully chaotic  that I regularly allow into the inner sanctum of my life, the one’s that I honestly enjoy, are accurate visualizations of my mind. my hope i sharing this with you is that maybe you’ll understand me a bit more. maybe you’ll understand that when I write excitedly in a ranting tone it’s spurred on  by a false urgency of so many thoughts. And maybe if you’re someone I interact with in my life and you ever encounter me silent know that it’s not because I have nothing to say. Rather it’s because I see a dozen thought processes spiraling out and I can’t seem to pick the correct one fast enough. I am constantly searching for a single thread amongst the chaos. I don’t always find it, but every day I continue the search.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…



a deliberate life

I’ve always love the idea of living deliberately. Admiring those who seem to find purpose in every action and in every moment. I used to always strive to carry myself with the same demeanor; attempting to foresee the full impact of my every move. Turns out I had it wrong, in fact I had absolutely no idea what it meant to live deliberately.

“You don’t know in December who you’ll be in July,” sings The Suitcase Junket. Almost a year ago now I turned my life in an unplanned direction. I had no idea who I was or what I would become. I was lost, and at the time I viewed my choice as a panic reaction. The uncertainty of it forced me out of my comfort zone and into a year that I would not trade for the world. And now looking back I can see that every moment, every risk, every bit of that uncertainty was necessary. It formed me into who I am.


Deliberate. The word haunts me as something I lack. How could I claim to be living deliberately if I had absolutely no idea what I was even doing? The truth that I had to learn, and that I still am, is that “to live deliberately” is rarely synonymous with “to act with full knowledge.” A deliberate life is not one of knowing the full impact of your actions, rather one of confidently stepping forward while still pausing to see the ripples stretch out. In his book Dynamic Catholic, Matthew Kelly asks his readers to be bold but never rash. I begin to understand that just a little more, and take it to heart as I boldly look for who I’ll be next July.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…


Catharsis, Wonder, & Samaritans

In fall of 2013, near the feast of Christ the King, I attended the National Catholic Youth Conference. Even more specifically I was in one of the major breakout sessions, this one happened to be Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. It was an amazing feeling being in a room with 5,000+ fellow teens raptly adoring our God. I remember being towards the back on some bleacher type seating, and right before we started they had everyone cram together so as to get more people in the room. The reason I say this is because to my right was this girl I didn’t know and we spent a lot of time trying to not elbow each other.

Towards the end of the holy hour it was as if I’d been hit by a brick wall. Just absolutely everything came up in my prayers. I began to tremble thanking God for bringing me through the darkness of the year and a half before that. Seeing me visibly shaking, the girl next to me decided to tap my knee as she leaned over and made sure I was okay. Tears of awe and relief running down my face I croaked out a “yes,” and we both returned to our prayers. Afterwards I remember thanking her for being exactly what I needed in that moment. Her response was that she doesn’t normally say a word to strangers, but felt compelled to say something. Giving me a bracelet she asked if I would pray for her at my next holy hour.


It was no mistake that I randomly  found the bracelet again tonight. You see I’ve been spiritually low these past months. Just today I had another catharsis moment. Where through the help of another person who didn’t quite know how much they were helping me, I remember just how quick God is to forgive me. I was reminded that I’m the snag, I have to forgive myself and choose the embrace of God’s love. This bracelet reminds me of that love and what it’s like to be consumed by the Holy Spirit.

For us Catholics today is the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time, which means that once again we hear and pray on the parable of the Good Samaritan. It’s small acts of mercy, it’s treating each other as neighbors, that’s how we grow and become holy.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…


Break of Day

I have walked a thousand miles and I will walk a thousand more. Searching. Always searching. All to find the break of day. Possessing a passion for life that leads me on. Constantly seeking whatever should come next. On this path I often find obstructions. They are distractions and demons, wholly determined to bring me down. Time and again I painfully rise, Infinitely better for having lived the previous day. I’ve come to believe that the end point is but a small part for now. my concern becomes rising each day prepared to grow evermore.

I have walked these thousand miles. And I will walk a thousand more, all before the break of day.

Peace, Love, and Happiness…